Words of Wisdom

My grandparents have been married for 68 years.

As I was standing with my family in a hospital room tonight watching my grandmother pass away, my grandfather (who has the toughest exterior) said these words.

"People ask me how we made a marriage last like that. I tell them, she was my best friend when I needed it and she was my best friend when I didn't deserve it."

It was heartbreaking to watch a tough old farmer break down at the idea of separating from his one true love for a season.

Faith

So these last few months I have been concerned/fearing/pondering a certain subject. That subject is the rampant epidemic that is pornography. More specifically how it affects marriages.

I have seen friends and friends of friends (and even myself) dealing with this in their dating life and married life. I'll be honest. It scares me. It scares me so much that recently I have been debating with myself whether or not I really want to be married...ever. I know, I know. "You've been taught better than that." "You will be withholding the highest blessings available." And on, and on. But I have been struggling to see past the pain and uncertainty that this sin is causing in those I am close to.

It's really discouraging when you see the caliber of guys out there and even harder to be hopeful for a happy marriage.

Today our bishop's wife talked to us about her experience with pornography. Her ex-husband became addicted to it shortly after they got married. She talked of her heartache and the abuse she endured. As she was speaking I thought to myself, "This is not helping." But as she went on, I was able to see her strength through my tears.

It is then that I realized that the only person or thing I can control is me and my actions. If I am doing right I will be blessed. The Lord is bound when I do what He says. Just as confidence comes from our virtue, faith comes from our obedience. Through our obedience we can wax strong in faith and trust that the Lord will make things right.

No matter what path I am asked to take or what mountain I must climb, if I follow His word he must and will give me all that I qualify for.

This doesn't mean that all of a sudden I miraculously am okay and accept this or that I am ready for marriage (I know, 26 should be more than ready for marriage) but it does mean that I am one step closer.

Reflection in the Water

So today at work I was listening to past CES firesides when I came across the talk by President Uchtdorf called "The Reflection in the Water." Have you ever had one of those moments where you felt like the speaker was talking directly to you. Like he was sitting down with you one on one and giving you fatherly advice and counsel. Like you were receiving a personal father's blessing from your Heavenly Father...every word. That is what happened as I was listening to this talk.

Here are the things that stood out most to me. He talked about three questions that we as young adults ask ourselves.

• First question: I'm unhappy and depressed. Sometimes it seems like the world would be a better place without me in it. Why should I go on living?
• If I understood who I am I would not be able to contain the happiness and joy.
• Rather than focus on sorrow or things that make my life sad CHOOSE to focus on the things that fill my soul with hope.
• I was not created to spend the hours and days of my life isolated from others in worry or despair.
• Second question: I'm so lonely. Will I ever find my soul mate?
• There is no soul mate. No one person is my only chance at happiness.
• No one is perfect. The only perfect people I might know are those I don't know very well.
• Create perfection together.
• This life is so short in the grand scheme of things.
• DO NOT WAIT FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO MAKE YOUR LIFE COMPLETE. STOP SECOND GUESSING YOURSELF AND WONDERING IF YOU ARE DEFECTIVE. INSTEAD, SEEK TO REACH YOUR POTENTIAL AS A CHILD OF GOD. SEEK LEARNING. BECOME ENGAGED IN A MEANINGFUL CAREER, AND SEEK FULFILLMENT IN THE SERVICE OF OTHERS. USE YOUR TIME, YOUR TALENTS, AND YOUR RESOURCES TO IMPROVE YOURSELF AND BLESS THOSE AROUND YOU. ALL OF THIS IS PART OF YOUR PREPARATION FOR HAVING A FAMILY.
• Final question: Can I remain faithful?
• It is okay to ask questions. I can not discover truth without asking questions.
• When I bring my questions to the Lord, not only can He answer those questions but He can give me answers to questions I should have asked.
• Asking questions is not a sign of weakness but a precursor of growth.

This talk was exactly what I needed in my life right now.