Faith

So these last few months I have been concerned/fearing/pondering a certain subject. That subject is the rampant epidemic that is pornography. More specifically how it affects marriages.

I have seen friends and friends of friends (and even myself) dealing with this in their dating life and married life. I'll be honest. It scares me. It scares me so much that recently I have been debating with myself whether or not I really want to be married...ever. I know, I know. "You've been taught better than that." "You will be withholding the highest blessings available." And on, and on. But I have been struggling to see past the pain and uncertainty that this sin is causing in those I am close to.

It's really discouraging when you see the caliber of guys out there and even harder to be hopeful for a happy marriage.

Today our bishop's wife talked to us about her experience with pornography. Her ex-husband became addicted to it shortly after they got married. She talked of her heartache and the abuse she endured. As she was speaking I thought to myself, "This is not helping." But as she went on, I was able to see her strength through my tears.

It is then that I realized that the only person or thing I can control is me and my actions. If I am doing right I will be blessed. The Lord is bound when I do what He says. Just as confidence comes from our virtue, faith comes from our obedience. Through our obedience we can wax strong in faith and trust that the Lord will make things right.

No matter what path I am asked to take or what mountain I must climb, if I follow His word he must and will give me all that I qualify for.

This doesn't mean that all of a sudden I miraculously am okay and accept this or that I am ready for marriage (I know, 26 should be more than ready for marriage) but it does mean that I am one step closer.