Juggling

We've all dropped the ball before. In our constant juggling of family/work/church it's bound to happen. But you keep juggling the other two until you have the strength to pick up the third. Or until someone else picks it up for you. 

But what do you do when you set them all down. What do you do when all three balls are on the ground. Not because you dropped them but because you put them there. And walked away. 

How do you get the strength to pick them all up and start all over. Or the desire for that matter. 

Attach Purpose to Pain

A friend of mine was telling me about this public speaker that she heard. His name is Mike Schlappi. He was shot by his best friend when he was 14 which paralyzed him from the chest down. His whole story is pretty amazing but the thing she told me about that really touched me and I feel inclined to write down so I don't forget was this concept that he talked about.

He said to attach a purpose to your pain. Attach a reason to what you are going through.

The example that she gave to me was this. If someone asked you to put out your arm so they could cut it off your thought would be NO! That sounds painful. But if someone asked you to put out your arm so they could cut it off and it would save your child's life. Pain is not a problem any more.

We are going to go through a lot of painful experiences. But if we can attach a purpose to that pain, the pain suddenly becomes bearable.

So profound.

The Loneliness of Change

I forgot how lonely it is to change, to repent, to turn away from past behavior.

You are struggling inside with doubts and insecurities, fears and heartaches, yet there are few if any for you to talk to or who would even understand. There are few who you actually want to even know.

For this reason, you are there. Struggling and enduring in silence. Listening to others tell you of their trials and yearning to help them...as well as yearning to tell them of the mountain you are climbing. Trying with all your might to feel an inkling of love. Yet, something holds you back. Something says "You need to do this. Just you and the Lord."

Their looks of disappointment peer into your soul. The echo of the voices who you are hurting. The thousands of painful, discouraging, and possibly completely true thoughts that creep into your mind of your follies. Yet you must still keep silent. "Just you and the Lord."

They can not make the change for you.

You need to get on your knees and plead for that friendship that will never leave you. The friend who will not judge you before they know all the facts. "Just you and the Lord."

"[...] please understand that what you see and experience now is not what forever will be. You will not feel loneliness, sorrow, pain, or discouragement forever. We have the faithful promise of God that He will never forget nor forsake those who incline their hearts to Him. Have hope and faith in that promise." - Elder Uchtdorf

Happiness

Mormon 9:14 "[...] he that is happy shall be happy still; and he that is unhappy shall be unhappy still."

This weekend we had stake conference. Our stake specifically had a theme at the Saturday evening session. It was on choosing to be happy now. This was something that was already on my mind so I just ate it up.

Sadness and disappointment are events in life not life itself.

I have always heard and believed that being happy was as simple as waking up each day and choosing to be happy, and to a point it is but i also learned that there are few pre-requisites to being able to make that choice.

1 - we must be grateful for our many blessings
2 - we must keep the commandments
3 - we must serve others
4 - we must be productive each day
5 - we must try to be healthy (getting enough sleep/exercise)
6 - we must make friends
7 - we must be quick to observe the beauty of God's creations
8 - we must be quick to forgive and slow to anger
9 - we must do our best

Choosing to be happy is all about action. It's not merely saying "I'm going to be happy today." It's about doing those things that bring pure happiness. It's about recognizing the blessings. I have noticed for me that sometimes I perceive the Lord's blessings in my life as major trials. How could that be? How could I so foolishly mistake good to be evil and evil to be good?

It is because though I have been doing the Lord's will I still think I know what I need better. I either do it murmuring or with a desire to change His mind. In order to choose happiness I need to choose the Lord and accept the path he has set before me. I need to believe that he can make me more than I could ever make myself.

Pride and Confession

I recently was compelled to make some changes in my career and ultimately my perspective.

My job has been very stressful but I have been immensely grateful for it. A few weeks ago everything came to a head. I was overworked, overstressed, and my perspective was totally out of focus. This led to me having to make some changes at work. Basically I had to ask to step down from management.

This was hard for me. I mean really hard. I didn't know why this affected me so much but I could not deny the feelings I was having. I felt like a failure and super weak. In conversations with friends and family it became apparent that this change should have brought relief and really wasn't as bad as I thought it was. I was able to cope but still struggled with the whole event.

Then recently I was listening to this last April's conference in my car on my way to work and the following words by Elder Scott came through my speakers as if he were in the seat next to me.

"For spirituality to grow stronger and more available, it must be planted in a righteous environment. Haughtiness, pride, and conceit are like stony ground that will never produce spiritual fruit.

Humility is a fertile soil where spirituality grows and produces the fruit of inspiration to know what to do. It gives access to divine power to accomplish what must be done. An individual motivated by a desire for praise or recognition will not qualify to be taught by the Spirit. An individual who is arrogant or lets his or her emotions influence decisions will not be powerfully led by the Spirit."

It was pride.

President Benson said, 

"The proud depend upon the world to tell them whether they have value or not. Their self esteem is determined by where they are judged to be on the ladders of worldly success. They feel worthwhile as individuals if the numbers beneath them in achievement, talent, beauty, or intellect are large enough. Pride is ugly. It says, "If you succeed, I am a failure."

This is the trap I found myself in. This is the trap I am trying to get myself out of.

"The antidote for pride is humility -- meekness, submissiveness. It is the broken heart and contrite spirit."

References

- How to Obtain Revelation - Elder Richard G Scott

- Beware of Pride - President Ezra Taft Benson

Doctrine and Covenants 123:17: "Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed."

Alma 1

I was reading the 1st chapter of Alma this morning and the stark contrast between those that were prospering inside the Church and those that were prospering outside the Church stood out to me more than ever.

Inside the Church
- All were equal in learning the word
- Everyone labored according to their strength
- They did impart of their substance to the poor, needy, sick, and afflicted
- They did not wear costly apparel but were neat and comely
- Abundance of everything they were in need of

Outside the Church
- Sorceries
- Idolatry or idleness
- Babblings (gossip)
- Envyings and strife
- Wearing costly apparel
- Lifted up in the pride of their own eyes
- Persecutions, lyings, thieving, etc.

Where do you stand?