Doctrine and Covenants 123:17: "Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed."

The woman I want to be...

When I listen to general conference, I like to write down the impressions that I receive as speakers are talking about things I need to do. Usually this list gets pretty lengthy but as I write I don't take the time to think about whether or not that has been written before. This means in the end when I run through this list there are 5 or 6 common themes of things I need to work on.

This conference, however, I was impressed to do something else. During the Sunday morning session I wrote down during Elder Eyring's talk "figure out who you want to become - make goals to get there - it may seem hard or like there is not enough time - the unimportant things will fall away and your capacity will be increased."

The rest of the day has been consumed with me asking myself "Who do I want to be?"

I have reflected on women in my life that I consider role models, women that I look up to. I noticed a few common traits that they have and so I present: The woman I want to be:

Faithful

• Reread the Book of Mormon by the end of the year
• Pray at least twice a day
• Attend the temple no less than once a month
• Read all of this conference's talks before the next conference

Loving and Charitable

• Be a diligent visiting teacher
• Replace tv etc with doing service such as visiting girls in the ward, visiting friends, visiting neighbors, and coming closer to my Father in Heaven and Savior

I won't be perfect in this endeavor but I must try.

Faith

So these last few months I have been concerned/fearing/pondering a certain subject. That subject is the rampant epidemic that is pornography. More specifically how it affects marriages.

I have seen friends and friends of friends (and even myself) dealing with this in their dating life and married life. I'll be honest. It scares me. It scares me so much that recently I have been debating with myself whether or not I really want to be married...ever. I know, I know. "You've been taught better than that." "You will be withholding the highest blessings available." And on, and on. But I have been struggling to see past the pain and uncertainty that this sin is causing in those I am close to.

It's really discouraging when you see the caliber of guys out there and even harder to be hopeful for a happy marriage.

Today our bishop's wife talked to us about her experience with pornography. Her ex-husband became addicted to it shortly after they got married. She talked of her heartache and the abuse she endured. As she was speaking I thought to myself, "This is not helping." But as she went on, I was able to see her strength through my tears.

It is then that I realized that the only person or thing I can control is me and my actions. If I am doing right I will be blessed. The Lord is bound when I do what He says. Just as confidence comes from our virtue, faith comes from our obedience. Through our obedience we can wax strong in faith and trust that the Lord will make things right.

No matter what path I am asked to take or what mountain I must climb, if I follow His word he must and will give me all that I qualify for.

This doesn't mean that all of a sudden I miraculously am okay and accept this or that I am ready for marriage (I know, 26 should be more than ready for marriage) but it does mean that I am one step closer.

Quiet Time

I was recently pondering my life and my current situation. Suddenly I was overcome with a grateful heart. I am grateful for and cherish these quiet times in life.

I just came through a trial. I learned a lot and struggled a lot. I used up every ounce of testimony and faith I had stored from years past to make it through. I leaned on friends and family and the rest of my resources. But now...now is a quiet time.

This quiet time is not here to congratulate myself for a job well done. This is a time of rebuilding. This is a time for me to strengthen my testimony and faith. This is a time to replenish my reservoir to make it through the next trial.

I WILL increase my faith and testimony. I WILL be better equipped to handle the next trial that is surely on its way. I WILL not get caught up in the calmness of this quiet time and waste it away.

The most beautiful part is that by making it through the prior trial I am already full of an increase in faith...I am already ahead.

I WILL be prepared.

Will

"It is only by yielding to God that we can begin to realize His will for us."

When I first read that I thought it sounded backwards. Don't we usually yield to the Lord when He tells us His will. Doesn't the faith and submission come after we have received a recognition of His direction for us.

But isn't this such a beautiful concept. We begin to see His will after we submit our lives to Him. It will come little by little. The faith comes before the assurance.

Ponder it.

Jacob 7

Why could Jacob not be shaken?

• And he had hope to shake me from the faith, notwithstanding the many revelations and the many things which I had seen concerning these things; for I truly had seen angels, and they had ministered unto me. And also, I had heard the voice of the Lord speaking unto me in very word, from time to time; wherefore, I could not be shaken.

Was it his revelations?

Was it the angels?

Was it literally hearing the voice of the Lord?

I would argue that it wasn't. 

Jacob could not be shaken because he REMEMBERED.

It does us no go to receive revelations, see angels, hear the voice of the Lord, feel His tender mercies, feel the burning of the Spirit, UNLESS we remember them. That is why he could not be shaken. He never let the Lord be far from his mind. It doesn't matter how miraculous or small the event might be it cannot strengthen us if we forget about it.